Middle school rookie writers trying to make sense of chaos at the base of the Rocky Mountains
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Poem
"I love you."
The words dripped out of her mouth like honey,
But it wasn't honey.
It was dirt.
Maggots and roaches spilling out,
Turning black.
The parasites crawl up your body and into your skin.
It infects you with false happiness,
That can only be identified by those who look.
But no one is looking,
Everyone's eyes have been sewn shut.
Love becomes a chore,
Then an expectation,
Then an infectious disease.
But before then it was a lie.
Believed by one,
Told by the other.
Thus everything in your fragile world is engulfed,
It's like quicksand.
But you didn't sink slowly,
You sank all at once.
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7 comments:
I really enjoy this outlook love. It is very different then what we normally hear when people talk about love. It gives you something to think about.
I really love the line 'maggots and roaches spilling out,'. It reminds me of the time that I actually saw a beetle maggot. It was crazy: it had one long, michalen-man-like abdomen with beady, black eyes on a small black head. Great poetry all around!
I love this poem, it is extremely chilling, after each line you're excited for the next. I wonder if this poem is based on real life experiences or just a knowledge of love.
Kind of disturbing with maggots and roaches. Don't know what this poem is about but I like it.
Wow. I'm just in awe of this. And I see this as a metaphorical poem for a relationship and love. What made you write this poem and what were the feelings behind it?
I don't even know where to start! This is so good. You have used such amazing vocabulary. I think that the parasite part was conveyed very well. How did you come up with this idea?
That is a amazing story, good job. I loved the way you changed in from honey to dirt. I loved the way you described love in the end. You did a great job.
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