Sappy Poems for The Faint of Heart

As I lay there with my head on her chest
I hear the thump of a heartbeat,
A fast beating to match my own
And maybe I am engulfed in a cloud of naivety
But I can't help but feel she likes me too
But love is painfully sharp.
It cuts through skin and bone
  A pain that is strangely familiar
Maybe this time things will work out.
Maybe this time my heart won't beat so loud.
I have enveloped myself in a womb of skin and bone
Trying to keep the cold away.
And she is bright
A sea of happiness
And I am an island
So close but not yet touching
How could someone like her
Ever like someone like me?
She lights up the castles with the glow of a thousand candles
And I know all to well that a flame can burn if you get too close.
So the question is
Is it okay to catch fire? 

Religion and Other Human Eventions

What a selfish ideology, that out of all the animal species in the world humans, who are also animals, are more superior than others. This phenomenon is absolutely ridiculous, to believe that the human race has any more of an impact on earth than a simple fly does. More accurately we have demolished the planet more than any other species. The conclusion that I have pondered for quite some time now is that humans are dense creatures. They tend to hold themselves on a pedestal for creating fundamentally useless systems. We, being intelligent creatures, know that these systems are useless in the war of survival, but yet we seem not to care. I challenge you, reader, to find one useful aspect to survival in trigonometry. I grow weary of this way of thought; my mind is becoming an uninspired waste land molded by humans’ need for superiority. We are all ants on a tiny ant hill planet.


Ants are just ants, humans are just humans.

An Important Message From McDonald's

For four thousand years the cow people have ruled the universe. Conquering everything in their way, the great cow leader, General Milk, is one of greatness and is considered God in the cow kingdom. But then there was Moo. in the words of the other cows, “@$##@&^#%@&*#@$%#$%,” which roughly translates to “he sucks,” in Cowenese.

Moo was a failure, his Cowenese was horrendous, he couldn’t frolic in the fields like the other cows, and he didn’t flop over to worship the General Milk. However, Moo had planned a coup. He was to cownapp General Milk and his son Cottage Cheese and sell them to the Goat Mafia. Then Moo would be considered god! But first he had to get in contact with the dreaded Goat Mafia, and to do that he had to find… Chevre.

Moo trotted down the abandoned alleyway, sure to make his hoovesteps light and quiet. He turned the corner and saw the silver trashcan glistening in the moonlight. He knew what he had to do next. Moo carefully climbed into the trashcan shutting himself into the cramped space. “Down with the God,” Moo whispered. The ground flew out from under him and he fell at an alarming rate. Moo began to panic; what if they send me to the slaughter house?!, his cow brain screamed for his body to do something.

 Suddenly Moo came to a hard, abrupt stop, sucking the air out of his lungs. When he opened his eyes, he saw the face of the one and only Chevre. He opened his mouth to speak, but was gagged. He was not surprised when everything went black.


And that kids, is how your Big Mac is made.

Repetition

The boy began to notice a pattern
A kind of repetition that is so repetitive it doesn't seem like repetition anymore
All of the other boys wore the same clothing
Had the same toys
Lived in identical houses
And were referred to exactly the same.
They had the same faces given to them to wear by unknown beings
And at school they learned the exact same things and were expected to get the exact same grades
Soon the boy began to wonder if they thought like him too.
When the boy looked around all he saw was a monotone world
He began to long for more than just grey
So he cut himself open with scissors so everyone could see
But they snatched him up and sew him back together with string


Eventually the boy stopped wanting to be anything at all.